Survival Mode Isn’t a Lifestyle
Have you noticed how often people talk about regulating their nervous system lately?
It comes up everywhere now. On TikTok. In group chats. Even at work. Someone will say, “My nervous system is shot,” almost casually, like it’s just another side effect of being busy.
Vogue wrote about dysregulated nervous systems and highlighted something that feels familiar: many of us aren’t just stressed, we’re living in survival mode. Not because there’s one major crisis, but because life itself has become a constant state of demand. It shows up at work through deadlines, performance pressure, and the expectation to always be available. But it also shows up in more personal ways, in how we feel about our bodies, our appearance, our productivity, and our worth. Always optimizing. Always improving. Always on.
Survival mode doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like being high-functioning. Getting everything done, holding it together, smiling through exhaustion, feeling restless even when nothing is actually wrong. Your nervous system stays alert, scanning for what’s next, what needs fixing, what could go wrong. There’s no pause, just momentum.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how many of us mistake this state for normal. We call it ambition. Discipline. Resilience. But living this way takes a toll. When your nervous system never fully settles, rest starts to feel uncomfortable. Stillness feels unproductive. Even joy can feel fleeting because your body is bracing for the next demand.
That’s why the idea behind the book You Were Never Meant to Just Survive: 30 Deep Questions to Stop Existing and Start Living is not a solution or a checklist, but a reminder. So many of us aren’t actually living; we’re managing.
Regulating your nervous system isn’t about escaping responsibility or opting out of ambition. It’s about creating enough safety in your body to actually experience your life. To respond instead of react. To work without burning out. To care for yourself without turning it into another task to perfect.
Lately, I’ve been reminding myself that regulation doesn’t have to be dramatic or perfectly executed. As a yoga and fitness instructor, I’ve seen how often people assume it means doing more. In reality, it’s often the opposite. It can be as simple as slowing your breath between meetings, letting your shoulders drop when you notice they’re tense, or stepping away from your phone without needing a reason. It’s choosing moments that signal safety to your body instead of urgency.
For me, regulation looks like movement that feels grounding instead of performative. It’s learning to notice when I’m pushing through on autopilot and gently asking myself whether I actually need to be in survival mode right now.
We weren’t meant to live on constant alert. We were meant to experience our lives, not just manage them. And sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do isn’t fixing ourselves, but reminding our bodies that they’re allowed to exhale.
- Dania Khalife
